The Influencer: The Queen of Role Models

Influence: the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself.

Influence and persuasion are both about affecting the thoughts or actions of others, but they differ in their approach and duration. Influence is a subtle, gradual process that builds over time, often through setting an example or inspiring others, while persuasion is a more direct and immediate tactic that uses arguments or appeals to convince someone to act. 

In short, influence is more about internal motivation, while persuasion is about using external strategies to convince others. Who has been a very influential person in your life? What made them influential - how did they talk, listen, or interact?

Carolyn was The Influencer.

As a High Teacher, Mother, and Wife: she saw it all and treasured people. Students adored her and called her the Queen; they brought her flowers and chocolates- mostly for her birthday, but often other times too. Her husband adored her. He was from N’awlins and was a southern gentleman; her friends envied how he honored and doted on her. Her three adopted daughters loved, appreciated, and respected her- having been influenced by Mom’s knowledge, character, and ability to have grace in the most difficult situations. Think about a relationship that you were able to be influential; what do you think helped you to influence them - how did you engage? 

Influencers – influential people, teach us how to think, challenge us, and role model the way! The effect may not be felt immediately, like a coffee bean that sits in water and slowly affects everything around it. A person’s positivity, encouragement to keep going, or setting an example in difficult situations are all part of the influencer’s long game! They may not even realize it! My parents were often asked, “How can you still be standing after all the trials and suffering you had endured?” And trials they had! But the answer always came back to their belief in God. Without hope in Someone greater than themselves, they believed they would have crumbled. Their faith was not always allowed to be shared openly as they worked as teachers in public institutions…but they had their ways. Mom was even told she couldn’t have a Christmas Tree in her classroom towards the end of her 30+ years of teaching. I don’t remember the outcome, but I do know that many students saw her patience, perseverance, and proactive attitude which led them to seek her support when they faced trials and tribulations. She was a beacon in a dark place, like a lighthouse in a storm. Teenage years are not for the faint of heart: my mother was bold and courageous! This love for her students was part of her ability to influence others to think more deeply about their choices in life.  Where do you want to have more influence in your own life? 

One example of her influence was most evident when I became a teenage mother. I had the legal ability to choose life or abortion, to raise the baby or give him up for adoption. The only way I had this understanding and freedom was because of the love and support of my parents. Mom did not demand I keep the baby, even as heartbreaking as it was to think of that loss in her own heart. She had adopted us because she herself could not get pregnant. She role modeled trusting God’s good plans, prayer, and seeking wise counselors. In the end, it was my decision; and my mom helped me to raise my oldest son for his first two years of life. This love and support spoke to many other teen mothers in my high-school as they chose life in the following years- sharing that my mom's love and caring relationship influenced them to do the same.  Who would you like to be a better role model for right now and how could you take one step this week to be that positive intentional influence?

In my life coaching session on influence, we dive deeper into this topic with practical application and role-playing to solidify the change in our thinking from nagging to loving communication. Let me know if you want to make that shift in your own life by reaching out by phone or text: 980-272-8041 or drop me a private note with the email form below. You too change your thinking and change your life!

Book recommendations:  

Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Simon & Schuster, 1936.

Pathak, Jay, and Dave Runyon. The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door. Baker Books, 2012.