How to Kill the ANTs

How to Kill the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Have you ever opened your cupboards and discovered that the marshmallows you were going to use for s'mores ended up being covered with ants?! Yuck! That happened to me yesterday…So what would you do? Just close the cabinet door and pretend they aren’t there? NOOOOOOOO! But if I never looked inside, I wouldn’t have known they were there in the first place, wreaking havoc on my plans for the future.

Now, if I were to use ant spray, that would kill them! But who wants chemicals messing up the rest of the cupboard when something else could be just as effective?

I'm sure you know this isn’t going to be a talk about insects, however this analogy works when we consider how to deal with the ANTs in our head. ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) are insidious. We just don’t know how much trouble they cause until we take the few minutes to explore and process what’s inside! Let’s take a look at some together…

1.  “All my friends have partners, and I don’t have anyone to hang out with!”
2.  “I’ll never get a promotion no matter how hard I work.”
3.  “That teacher only likes the smart kids.”
4.  “If only I hadn’t taken that first drink, I would not have gotten into trouble in my teens and I would be so much farther along today.”

You might recognize people say Never or Always (e.g. 1 and 2) …those are the All Bad and All Good ANTs; but things rarely are all one way or another. The 3^rd example shows the Labeling ANT as well as the All Bad ANT. Lastly, a common ANT that you may not recognize is the If Only / I’ll be Happy When ANT (e.g. 4) where happiness is elusive because past actions are set and the future isn’t now.  

Do these sound familiar? We think and say these things without realizing the damage they do as they eat away at our energy, our positivity, and our future. So how do we get rid of them and have a vibrant life and great relationships again? We need to be both on the offense and defense. The following strategy can help you to win in the fight against ANTs in your head:

• When you notice feeling sad, mad, anxious, or any emotion that doesn’t help you feel good, you need to recognize the ANT. There are different types of ants, and they need different strategies to get rid of them.
• Ask yourself how true this is…what percent is true?
• Then consider, “how would I feel if I didn’t have this ANT?”
• What would be MORE TRUE?

The victory comes when we make ANT killing a daily practice! I enjoy sharing this strategy with people and often hear how surprised people are that these ANTs have taken over the JOY in their lives. You can change your thinking and change your life!

In my life coaching sessions, we dive deeper into this topic with practical application and role-playing to recognize and improve our thoughts around the eight different types of ANTs. Let me know if you want to make that shift in your own life to become more positive and happier; you can phone or text 980-272-8041 or drop me a private note with the email form below. You too can change your thinking and change your life!

"It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?" --Henry David Thoreau.

Book recommendations:  

Allen, Jennie. Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts. WaterBrook, 2020.

Gordon, Jon. The Energy Bus. John Wiley & Sons, 2007. 

Leaf, Caroline. Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking. Baker Books, 2021. 

Peale, Dr Norman Vincent. The Power of Positive Thinking. Cedar Books, 1990.