Christmas is coming Part 2 - What do you really HOPE?

Christmas is approaching, and with it, a time for reflection on what we truly desire and what genuinely fuels our hope. Last week, we delved into what you truly "want," and this week, we're building on that foundation by asking what you Hope for. 

The world often paints hope as a wish, a desire for circumstances to align in our favor. But let's look at this together. Our lives are like boats, constantly navigating the waves of painful emotions and winds of difficult circumstances. The shore could represent our desired outcomes, the goals we strive for. But how do we truly survive the turbulent waters, the unpredictable storms that inevitably come our way?

As entrepreneurs, grandparents, and leaders in our families and communities, we are consistently tossed around in turbulent waters. We navigate relationships, careers, and service, often hyper-focused on reaching a specific "shore" – whether that's more revenue, better work-life balance, improved relationships, or better health. This laser focus on external results is called "outcome hope." We usually believe that if we achieve these outcomes, we'll be successful and happier.

But here's the thing: there's a danger in pinning our hope solely on outcomes. This kind of hope is often just a wish, and inner turmoil arises when the outcome doesn't manifest as we expect. That's when we encounter the storm of "hope deferred;" when what we want is delayed. It's like scattering dandelion seeds to the wind, and believing our dreams will SOMEHOW (magically) come true.

Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." The sickness isn't due to failure in getting what we wanted, but the despair that results when our joy is tethered to something so unpredictable. You deserve more stability than that!

Before we dive into the solution, I want us to approach the feeling of a "sick heart" without judgment. If you've experienced the pain of outcome hope being deferred, you know the negative thoughts that can swirl: "I'm not good enough," "Things will never change." These are common obstacles, the very real struggles we face.

But let's make a shift. We're going to move away from pinning our joy on whether the sorry situation changes, to a more secure and unwavering truth. This is where we find an anchor for our hope; a confident and certain expectation, rooted in God's constant character. It stands independent of your finances, your marital status, your business circumstances. This is the big 'H' Hope – a hope that transcends the temporary, a hope that is bigger than just things changing here.

Hebrews 6:19 offers a similar metaphor: "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." This anchor doesn't guarantee a calm sea; struggles will still arise, whether it's technology glitches or unanswered texts from loved ones. We may drift along in calm waters for a long time, but hoping that things will simply "stay the same" isn't a secure way to live. We need safety and a sure thing; this big 'H' Hope allows us to have internal peace and a hope for things to be better, even in the hardest times - especially in the hard times!.

This shift from insecure wishing to active anchoring is a journey I've walked myself. For years I desired a "perfect" family, believing it would bring me internal security through acceptance by others. But when that outcome hope was shattered, I experienced profound despair. I lost everything – my family, my friends, my identity. Despite knowing God loved me, I reached a point of desperation where I tried to end my life. I thought I would be better off, that they would be better off, and I longed to be with God.

But that wasn't God's plan. And today, I am so incredibly thankful. The hardships taught me profound truths, leading me to this higher hope. We need something deeper to hold onto during the storms. A young man once told me, "The devil wants you off this earth because he knows you've got great work that God is going to do through you. So, don't give in to him; you've got to overcome and stay." Those words struck a truth I had known before. I stopped giving the devil a foothold. I had to actively recall God's promises in scripture and He whispered in my ear that I am loved and chosen.

These small, consistent shifts in thinking transformed my life. Today, I have renewed friendships and relationships, and I've begun to heal the wounds I both created and received. This transformation isn't instant. When a boat is at full speed and drops anchor, it will drag for a while before finding firm hold. We might still feel internal struggles, things that seem out of control. But that's okay, because our hope isn't reliant on fleeting feelings of peace or happiness. Our hope is in the deeper truth of our eternal love and belonging.

This voyage of resilience is about transformation, a gradual process where challenges, hardships, and suffering create space for perseverance and becoming an overcomer. It builds our character, and character, in turn, builds hope. As Romans 5:3-5 reminds us, our struggles are not setbacks; they actively build a resilient character, allowing us to trust in our anchor even more.

Sometimes, in the midst of raging waves, we might feel tempted to jump ship. We've heard of Paul who was in a ship during a storm. Some wanted to abandon ship, but he convinced them to stay, and eventually, everyone made it safely to shore. The boat was no longer whole, but they survived.

We navigate hardships and learn that our happiness isn't dictated by the outcome, but by a deeper source, our true hope. When we let the anchor hold us in the storm.we can stop chasing outcomes and rest in that source of deep joy. We can find the same peace Jesus had when he slept in the stern of the boat during a storm on Galilee.  Even when he was alone and hungry in the wilderness. He knew worldly pleasures and temptations couldn't satisfy him; Jesus knew the promises of a loving Father who sent him to show the way for the rest of us. And just as the Father loved and sent him, he loves and sends you into this world to live and share your joy, to share what helps you overcome emotional upheaval and have joy not in outcome hope, but a deep anchor of abiding secure hope for your soul!

If you don't have that yet, let's work on it together. Sign up for a free session and 

Here are a couple of questions for reflection and discussion:

1. Do you know that you are loved, no matter what you do? (Reflecting on Romans 5). What's a current suffering in your life that you can choose to see as an opportunity? Remember, not all challenges are meant to kill you; we can grow our character as we go through it, as Brendan Buchard teaches. Steven Furtick says, "There's no testimony without a test." What current suffering can you  see as an opportunity to build a character trait like patience or perseverance this week?

2. What's your real hope? What's your higher hope? Bring to mind a promise or deeper hope that you can anchor yourself to in the midst of the struggles this week.

 There is a song by Lynn Anderson that says, "

When stress arises, check your internal thinking pattern. Are you wishing the waves would stop, longing for calm waters, and different circumstances? Or are you trusting that the anchor will hold no matter what? Just check your focus when you're having that spiral thinking, that "ready-to-tear-my-hair-out" feeling. Are you trusting in the anchor, or in a certain outcome to happen?

We can ride these waves together; encourage one another with the promises we know, and help one another stay anchored when the water of emotional turmoil threatens to overwhelm us.

Let's ride these waves together in the CoJoy community, supporting one another through our struggles. I look forward to continuing this path with you, and that we would be able to see and grow in that joy!