Protect Your Energy and Still Be a Loving Force for Others

Imagine you sit down to work on something important—connecting with friends, building a project, or even just clearing your inbox—and your computer is moving at dial-up speed. You wait, you click, and you wait some more, feeling frustration and annoyance build with every agonizing minute.

That was my reality for the past week and a half: a computer dragging me down, draining my patience, and leaving me feeling concerned and unsure. In that moment of struggle, I had a choice: to tear my hair out and let the situation control me, or to seek counsel, troubleshoot, and use my limited energy for good.

This experience is a perfect metaphor for what happens to your personal energy. We’re not like the Energizer Bunny; we can't run forever. We all face struggles—from simple tech issues to deep emotional hurdles. The real question is: What do you do when your energy is depleted and you still need to show up for your life?

The answer lies in recognizing your "Force"—your internal power—and learning how to use it constructively. We’ll explore three foundational steps to master the art of Creating Joy by Changing Your Thinking and reclaiming your energy today.

The Toddler Test: Treating Your Emotions Like Passengers

One of the most important lessons in Creating Joy by Changing Our Thinking is understanding our emotions. For years, I struggled with the idea that feeling "blah," annoyed, or frustrated was wrong. I thought I needed to be "up" all the time. But the truth is, emotions are okay.

We don’t want to live in frustration, but we absolutely must acknowledge it. Think of your emotions like a toddler in the car:

• They Belong in the Car Seat: Your emotions are valuable passengers, but they are not meant to drive the car. Your purpose, your values, and your why should be steering your life.
• Don't Stuff Them in the Trunk: We still listen to the toddler when they cry out. When you feel drained, stop and say, "Okay, I hear you. My emotions are telling me I'm feeling drained right now."
• Take Control of the Wheel: This recognition allows you to ask, "So, what can I do?" This single shift—from reacting to reflecting—is the pivot point where you start using your force for good instead of letting negativity drain you.

Just like Luke Skywalker had to learn to channel the Force instead of relying purely on frustration, we need to breathe into our upset feelings and remember our purpose.

Focusing Your Force: Re-Engaging with Your 'Why'

When energy is depleted, it’s easy to get distracted by external comparisons: the desire to look professional, have everything financially stable, or appear perfectly put together. These pressures can cause us to use our energy for fear or frustration—the "dark side."

Your valuable energy can be used for good or for bad. Negative energy often stems from anger, frustration, and a desire for control or power, as seen in the story of Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader. But the path to joy requires an intentional redirection of that energy.

The key to resisting this drain is returning to your why:

• Venting, Then Validating: Get the frustration out. Vent to a trusted coach, mentor, or friend. But don't camp out there.
• The Power of Purpose: Once the emotion is acknowledged, immediately pivot to: What do you need to focus on that’s more important? What are your core values? What is your purpose? These foundational concepts (your value, purpose, and identity) are the anchors that prevent you from being pulled under by temporary stress.

When you show up for others, ensure you are not doing so from a place of controlling or enabling. Ask yourself: Am I using my energy wisely by helping them discover their own power, or am I just trying to rescue them from a tough lesson? Being a beacon of light is about being available; being a bulldozer is about overpowering them. Choose the light.

🚧 Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

A critical component of Creating Joy by Changing Our Thinking is mastering the boundary. If you constantly say "yes" to everyone else, you are inevitably saying "no" to your own energy and well-being.

For those of us whose core value is putting others first, self-care can feel like a selfish act. Yet, even the most dedicated leaders throughout history took time alone. Saying yes to yourself is not a negative thing. You have to love and care for yourself in order to have the energy, life, and joy to pour into others. When your bucket is empty, you have nothing left to share.

To avoid becoming a victim of "energy vampires"—people who are bottomless pits of need—you must establish clear, firm, and loving limits.

Prompts for Your Daily Energy Reflection

Use these three questions in your daily journaling this week to actively practice Setting Boundaries Without Guilt and protect your force for good.

1. Alignment Check: When you say yes to others, you are saying no to your own energy in some ways. How does the choice you’re making align with your best self, your goals, and your core values?
2. Boundary Blueprint: What is one boundary you can set this week that honors both your need for self-care and your desire to show up fully for others? How will you communicate that boundary with love and firmness?
3. Loving Message: When you feel drained or overwhelmed, what is the loving message your body and soul are sending you? How can you respond to that message without guilt or hesitation?

Ready to Find Your Force for Good?

You have the power to stop the emotional drain and start creating joy by changing your thinking today. This isn't just about feeling better; it’s about showing up fully, lovingly, and powerfully for yourself and the people you care about.

If you’re ready to master these concepts, build healthy boundaries, and surround yourself with a community that lifts your energy instead of draining it, then you're ready for the next step.

Click here to join the CoJoy - a community of joy, with like-minded individuals focused on growth, purpose, and joy.