The Burden of Blessings: From Valley Victim to Mountain Mover

Navigating the Mountaintop

We spend so much of our lives praying, working, and grinding to get to the top of the mountain. We want that adoption to go through, we want the career breakthrough, or we want that specific relationship. But there is a paradox on the mountaintop: after you finally scale it, it can eventually feel more like "Death Valley" than a reason to celebrate.

Think about the couple who prayed for years to have a child. The child arrives- but eventually they’re a teenager. Now you’re carrying a heavy burden you didn't anticipate. Why does the once upon a time blessing now feel so heavy?

The Spotlight Effect

Sometimes our blessings act as a spotlight. They may illuminate the things in us that haven't been resolved yet—the old echoes of trauma, parenting struggles, or marriage issues. Success shouldn't feel like "survival mode," but the blessing puts a spotlight on the areas where we still need to heal.

If you find yourself here, the first thing you can do is honor the win. You got what you worked for! Whether you sold everything to move to the warm beach or finally landed that dream role, name the blessing. But be honest about the "hidden load" too. When I adopted my kids, it brought up stuff from my own past I didn't even know was there. That’s not a sign of failure; it’s just the "gate" to our next level of healing.

Embracing the Suck

I remember hiking up a mountain once, absolutely dying of heat and the steep incline that went on forever! Plus, I was trying to do it without sugar (not an easy feat for the body under duress), and knew I couldn't go another step. The person I was with had a military background, and he gave me the best advice: "Don't look at the top. Just keep your eyes on my heels. One step at a time. And eat the gummy bears you brought!"

He told me to "Embrace the suck."

In the Special Forces, that means consciously accepting that something is unpleasant because it’s the only way to move forward. Maybe that's what James 1:2 means when it says to "count it all joy" when you meet trials. That "valley heat" is just the forge preparing you and creating in you the necessary skills and fortitude for the challenges to come as you level up.

Resetting and Anchoring

Just yesterday, as I was preparing this, the weight of everything I’ve lost and the trials I am enduring presently started washing over me. I broke down. I had to stop, reach out to a peer, and admit I was struggling.

When that happens, you need an anchor; Here are three examples:

• Physical: Put your hand on your belly and take a deep breath.  This tells your brain and nervous system that you are safe.

• Mental: Name three things you’re grateful for right now, even though the blessings got heavy.

• Spiritual: What do you hold onto? Remember Hebrews 6:19- is your anchor firm and steadfast?

And don't let that stress or negative emotion stagnate in your body. Move. Do some air squats, go for a walk, or just stretch. Whatever you do, don't just sit in the heat of your overwhelm.

From Victim to Mountain Mover

You aren't lost; you're leveling up. The goal is to take those triggers- the anxiety or the old trauma- and turn them into the very tools you use to help other people. You can choose to be a victim of the valley, or you can choose to be a mountain mover who uses their pain to find purpose in the present.

Some things to think about (or journal on!):

• What is the specific struggle you’re facing right now on your "mountaintop"?

• How would things change if you viewed this struggle as a "forge" making you stronger instead of a sign that you're failing?

• If something great could come out of this burden, what would it be?

• How do you choose to greet this hardship starting today? (Example: "I choose to see this as a growth opportunity.")