Rise to the Challenge: WWMBD

Rise to the Challenge: WWMBD

I like to start on the same page when I use words in these trainings. Let’s make sure we know what a challenge is…and is not! The actual dictionary challenge definition begins with a call to take part in a contest or competition, and secondly: a stimulating task or problem. The example given was someone being asked to take part in a duel! HA! How would you have described it?

I asked the Growth Group during a Wednesday discussion in the Community of Joy what they would have described it as…” Something that is difficult to do or overcome,” and “a challenge keeps me from my desired outcome”. When I think of a challenge, it’s like a trial or tribulation: distress or suffering resulting from oppression or persecution. The description of a trial was a trying experience. Then I continued down the rabbit hole of etymology. Have you ever been there?!

To Try: to put to test or trial; DEMONSTRATE, PROVE; to melt down into a pure state as in refining gold or silver…Since this blog is about creating or finding JOY, I think it apropos for me to connect how a challenge can do that. The first things that came to mind were the Scripture verses:

James 1:2-4 Count [or consider, think of it as] it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness [patience, longsuffering, endurance]. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect [whole] and complete, lacking in nothing.

John 16:33 In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Oooh! So, the purpose of a challenge, trial, or tribulation is to help me be…better!? Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." He used self-reflection and questioning himself as tools for personal growth. I wonder how this is done in the face of a challenge if we keep the perspective that challenges (trials) are opportunities for growth.

Have you ever faced a moment where everything felt like it was falling apart, and you weren’t sure how you’d get through it? I’ve been there too. But let me tell you, the game-changer wasn’t a change in the situation—it was how I chose to “show up.” A year ago, I got tested and found out I’d had Lyme disease that went undiagnosed for more than 6 months while enduring joint aches, night sweats, fatigue, and brain fog. The Doctor said it should be fine after taking 40 days of Doxycycline.

No Problem, until I read the precautions that said it could cause suicidal ideation! I began to get anxious and panic at the thought of dealing with suicidal thoughts and keeping myself from wanting to die. I literally had a meltdown and cried,  thinking I was going to be suicidal; and then…all my self-improvement training kicked in. I took a shaky breath to clear my brain and asked myself, “How do I want to feel? How would my best-self handle this?”  And I thought about my best-self asking the next right question, “What’s truer?” See, I had spiraled 0-100 into negative thinking, but when I focused on my best-self I was able to change the story. I wasn’t suicidal, and I could ask for a safe person to be aware of my concerns with the medication and be able to help me make a change if I started to show signs or talk about wanting to be dead!

When Socrates talked about examining our lives, he was saying to ask yourself questions and make informed decisions. Here is a simple framework for how to focus on your best-self in the face of challenges/difficulties/trials:

Step 1: Pause and Breathe-Literally

When challenges hit, our first instinct is often to react emotionally. But your best self doesn’t live in reactivity—it lives in intentionality.

Step 2: Ask the Right Questions

Questions can change everything. Remember, your best self isn’t reactive, angry, or overwhelmed. He or she is calm, compassionate, and focused on solutions.

“How do I want to feel?”

 “If my best-self were handling this, what would he or she do right now?”

 Other questions that might help you get clarity:  

“Will this matter in 100 years?”

“What's in my control?”

or the statement that brings perspective and empathy, “It's not all about me!”

Step 3: Take the Next Right Action

Your best self doesn’t need to solve the entire problem in one go. It just needs to take the next right step. What’s one action you can take right now that aligns with your values and moves you forward? Perhaps it is to do nothing, as in Proverbs 17:28:

Even a fool, when he stays silent, is considered wise.

Think about a challenge you’re dealing with right now. Got it? Now, ask yourself: If my best self were handling this what would they do? What’s one small action you can commit to, today?

In my life coaching session on Courage, we dive deeper into this topic with recognizing automatic negative thoughts and what's truer to help meet challenges head on. Let me know if you want to take courage- sign up for a free 60 minute assessment. You too can change your thinking and change your life!

Book recommendations:   

Batterson, Mark. Chase the Lion: If Your Dream Doesn't Scare You, It's Too Small. Multnomah Books, 2019. 

Furtick, Steven. Crash the Chatterbox: Hearing God's Voice Above All Others. Multnomah Books, 2015.